Well to start my diary, how about I begin with this first. Really miss my friends in my university, feels like I want to spend times with them again, just staying at home and playing video games everyday sometimes does feel bored but hey can't blame my parent as I already turn into an introvert guy(not literally) but yeah what can I do. Oh I really looking forward for video games like Watch Dogs. That video game makes me feel like throwing my money to Ubisoft (*O*)
Source : http://www.t1gn.com/tag/watchdogs/
There goes my 70 bucks fly away to Ubisoft >_<
Secondly, I want to talk about my Foundation year, semester 3(yeah my last semester) to be exact. I really done a great thing throughout the whole semester 3, I accomplish a lot of things that I thought it was hard at first but managed to do it eventually. First off, confession. Yeah that's right, not a confession via internet or from social network(some of our teens especially my high school juniors like to do so) yeah in person confession. Oh my, I was like "Am I really gonna do this ?", so yeah I have these huge crush with a girl that I know since Semester 1, she didn't know me but I know her because she's somehow was indeed in the same English tutorial group as mine, she did caught my attention. Damn, even in distant she looked so cute ^w^ So that's the reason why I never skipped any of my English tutorial classes. (^O^)y
Well I tried my best to approach her but it doesn't worked out at all. So I talked to myself that "There's no way I'm going to talk to her since I'm a shy guy after all". It's true, I'm such a shy person, it's easy to talk with boys but girls ?? Woah slow down buddy, I might getting a heart-attack and quickly getting nervous. That is my downside part, shy. Soon after Semester 1, Semester 2 begins, I'm still keep an eye on that girl though, although I already had given up that hope might come. But, miracles always happen to someone. It is true, there was this subject called 'Business Management' and again it was the biggest gift that the God gave to me, to be in the same group with her along with my buddies *yeah* (^O^)/
I never tell who is my crush to my friends actually, I intent to keep it a secret from anyone but we humans cannot hold up anymore, need to tell the world whose that person that we always think of. After we became a group, I started to make my move by planning some excuses to meet with her (just the both of us), when we gathered for meeting I was praying that hopefully she will pick me to assist her on something and the God answered my prayer, she picked me up to assist her. Another victory for me, and start then I log in to my Facebook and added her as my friend, gave her messages asking her for help and stuff :D It was my happiest moment of my life, and the best thing was we actually did a meeting just the both of us, I already hit the jackpot. My friend saw me and her together discussed about our project. He was liked giving me a sarcastic smile and I didn't care about it, it's my show time with my crush. Lucky enough, my crush didn't saw it pheww ^_^
Later on, as we finish our project I could tell that actually I didn't make any progress at all. To be honest, I did invited her sometimes for a lunch and a dinner but she said she was busy with something and I'm cool with it. Even I gave her a text message she'll never replied back. I can sense it, she wasn't interested at me. I didn't gave up just yet, after I came this far just to get closer with her, exchanging contacts and discussed the project together, I'm not give my hopes away yet. The day that we must submit our project, I'm very determined I'm going to ask her out again before I take my last resort, confess to her. With a smile I slowly approach to her and say "Hi", casually. I asked her what will she gonna do that evening, she said she'll going back to her hometown. Damn!!!! My timing wasn't perfect at all, with a bit heartbroken I just smiled and ask her to drive carefully.
Before Semester 3 begins, I actually text her to meet me privately at the nearby cafe near her dormitory at 10pm, that's my last decision I'm just accept on what her respond would be. I need to let go this feelings somehow. I'm actually late from the time that I was ask her to meet me, I screwed up everything, it's all because I'm busy moved out from my old dormitory to my new dormitory, keeping up the ladies to wait is not a gentlemen at all, I admit my mistake there. She was like in a bad mood based on her face (I'm really scared and nervous in the same time). I greet her calmly, and apologise for my lateness to her. She was ok with it and I'm so relief for a moment. Then, she asked what do I want to tell to her. There goes the signal, will I finally break the wall between us ? Yeah I did, I confessed to her but feel very nervous till I forgot to thank her for everything. Shocked with that confession, she just say she cannot give the answer now. I can see from her face that she's hesitating to give an answer. I gave her times to think about it and I remind her whenever she feels ready just give it on a text message. It's about 2 weeks now, still no answer from her. It was taking too long and I gave her a message whether she already thinks about it or not. She replied a few minutes later saying that she appreciate on my confession but focusing on study was her main objective so better than in a relationship with someone. With my heart broken into pieces I accept it. There goes my first in person confession. I don't know, I'm in tears actually. To make things even worse she's actually has a huge crush but not from the same university. I can accept if she said from the beginning she already has someone that she fell for, why telling lies ?
Oh well, after a few months I already get through all of my past, no more sadness just because of a rejection from someone. So people, never afraid of telling someone you have a huge crush on them. Spread the love, if they rejecting you, somehow you can get through it and start finding your new love interest.
Until then, hope you guys enjoy. BYE BYE (^_^)/
Sorry for you but anyway you are brave person. Don't stop falling in love, it maybe hurt but that is the nature. I pray you for the best. :)
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